How to Kill a School Library: 10 Easy Steps
This
is a straightforward, how-to set of instructions for squelching all
remnants of library service in a school community. It’s been a painful
set of rants and raves to record, and I can’t say I’ve enjoyed it.
However, what I see worries me so much that I just can’t keep my mouth
shut.
1. Fire your librarians. If you really want to get rid of library
programs and services, start at the top. Ship them off to traditional
classrooms or Timbuktu—just get rid of them. Some are rabble-rousers and
troublemakers, and others just won’t get off their soapbox about all
the great things libraries can do for kids. Once they’re out of the
picture, it’ll be easier to do what you want with the library.
2. Tell staff, parents, and students that the library doesn’t offer
flexible access anymore. All they do is come in and ask pesky questions
at all hours of the day. If the librarian is gone, and the doors are
locked half the time, it won’t be long before those annoying patrons
start finding their answers elsewhere.
3. Hire clerks for next to nothing and make them do whatever you
want. Need help covering the cafeteria? Ask the library clerk. Want
someone to open car doors? The library assistant can do that. Is the sub
for the absent classroom teacher a no-show? Call the library assistant.
The library’s closed half the time anyway—she needs something to do.
4. Keep kids confused about how a library works. If they’ve never
heard of a library catalog, they won’t ask how to use one. If kids don’t
come in to the library to do research, you can use the space for baby
showers and book fairs. Do they really need library books? Get the
library assistant to pull a bunch from the stacks. If she’s not in the
library, check the cafeteria or study hall. Be sure she includes a
variety of titles, because who knows what kids really want to read.
5. Rush kids in and out of the library. You don’t want them in there
too long. They’ll get curious about those banned books and genre
displays, and we know what will happen next. We’re familiar with what
follows when you give a mouse a cookie.
6. Remove interesting signage and timely displays. Don’t draw any special attention to national
Children’s Book Week,
Poetry Month,
Battle of the Books, or
Dr. Seuss.
Any special events need to disappear from the school calendar. Once you
start celebrating literacy, all those kids are going to want back in
the library doors, and you‘ll have to repeat steps two through five all
over again.
7. Don’t invite public library staff to visit your school and promote
summer reading programs or special events. This will draw attention to
all the wonderful things that don’t happen at your school any more. Keep
all public library references to ebooks and resources on the down-low.
If your students think a library has a real function and role in their
learning, they’re just going to want those school library doors open
longer.
8. Tell authors who want to visit your school that you don’t have
time for them. You’re too busy working on the Common Core State
Standards to devote time to frivolous pursuits, and they can be damn
sure no child is going to get left behind at your school!
9. If teachers need lesson planning assistance or resources, tell
them to put on their big girl panties and find it themselves. Surely
they’ve heard of
Pinterest?
10. Convince parents that early literacy has nothing to do with the
library. Don’t send flyers or pamphlets home telling them how to read
with their children, and don’t offer special seminars on building strong
readers. A kid who loves reading at home is just going to knock on
those library doors, and we’ve made it pretty clear: The lights are off
and there’s no one there.
Robin Overby Cox is an elementary library supervisor in central Texas.
